Tool for HeartConnexion® Living Tool:
Use Your “Points of Power” to Clarify Your Vision
We all have the choice to either live our vision of God’s will for our life or to live within the vision that someone else has for us. The Biblical warning that “without a vision, people perish” is not about going to hell. It is about the living hell that often results when we are living someone else’s vision more than our own vision. For example, the vision an addict [spouse, parent or child] has for us is that we will not interfere with them getting their fix and we will not hold them accountable for their choices. The same is true for those of us who live with an abuser, a controller, a people-pleaser, a what-would-the-neighbors-thinker, etc. Then we wonder why we are depressed and frustrated! After choosing to change our lives we often ask, “Why did I put up with that stuff for so long?” The answer is usually that we lost our vision and began to fit into someone’s vision for us.
I can’t understate the importance of having a personal mission statement and a vision statement of what that mission would look like if it was lived out according to God’s will and grace. Yet, writing effective personal mission and vision statements can be challenging. In Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, Betty Edwards describes how she teaches beginning artists to not draw what they see, but to draw the spaces and what is not there. The trick is to be able to focus the mind on the spaces rather than the object. It really does help beginning artists. This is also a good way to approach defining our personal mission and vision for our life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you clearly realized what was making you unhappy or frustrated? That is a “point of power.” If we clearly define how we do not want things to be in our life and then imagine the opposite as present, we have the basis for a new vision and power to change. If we identify all the things we are no longer willing to put up with (i.e. tolerate) and eliminate them, then our personal vision will be clear. We can then decide whether we are going to live out our personal vision or continue to live out someone else’s vision for us.
Changing our personal vision may empower the people in our life to change their vision too. On the other hand, it may confirm that they are not willing to change. Often both sides of a relationship desperately want to change what is not working, but don’t know how or where to begin. Identify and clearly communicate the behaviors that you no longer want to tolerate. Don’t simply identify other the person as intolerable. By letting go of trying to change them, we may empower them to make a choice to change.
Find your points of power and clarify your personal vision!
Small Group Sharing:
- Are you on contract?
- Who are you?
- How have you shifted positions this week?
- What were the results?
- How did you share your heart this week?
- What was your private victory?
- What challenge are you facing?
- How can we help?
- How would your life be different if you used this HeartConnexion Tool?
Dr. Paul D. Fitzgerald, ©1999 HeartConnexion Ministries